Alderaan Lullaby
by Cszemis
Summary: Mourning for her beloved Alderaan, Princess Leia receives a beautiful gift from the smuggler she despises. Post ANH


Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If I did I would be a millionaire (damn!)

**Alderaan Lullaby**

"No time for our sorrows now, General."

When would there be time for sorrows, Leia?

Jan's eye had followed her movements all during the Rebel Strike, her anxious glances, her bitten nails and a smile for their heroes, feigned and serviceable. Yet she had not shed a single tear for her Alderaan, ruined and empty, circling an ignorant and unassuming sun, unaware that its beautiful child had cracked and disintegrated and disappeared from the living Force.

At the time of its destruction, Leia had no real reason to weep. Too much in shock was she that people were cold hearted enough to destroy an entire culture, an entire civilisation, so peaceful and fair.

Adding to that she simply had refused to show her grief to that foul excuse for a human being, Tarkin and his pet, although part of her imagined Vader's squeeze on her shoulder was his attempt at a condolence.

No, she did not cry after her initial scream, only stared numbingly at the glittering fragments of her home before she had been escorted in a dreamlike state back to her cell, Vader's grip barely recognisable to her senses.

Then she had fallen asleep.

Awoken by a fair-haired Prince and his entourage, they defeated the monstrosity that was the Death Star. When Luke had fired that fatal shot, Leia's hand had been there in spirit, the explosion following a thrilling revenge for her people.

She had smiled although her heart was broken.

Dodonna had captured her attention after the Award Ceremony, relaying his regrets to fair Alderaan, which Leia had dismissed before, and yet still she did not hear his condolences. Other rebels had flocked to her presence, cards and gifts abound, sad eyes, sad faces. Yet none of them able to understand her pain.

Her family, her world, her home was gone.

Luke had come the closest. He too had lost all he had when he began his adventure. But he had cried already, so his emotions were not as raw as her own. Nor did he have to stand in front of the troops and smile, to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

The smuggler Han was intolerable. She could not stand his wit or his demeanour and he felt the same about her. So, when he turned up at her door late one night, eyes down and hushed, for a moment she had intended to slam the door in his face. And he would deserve it too for being like all the others, imagining sorrow that was not in fact there.

To her surprise, into her hands he placed a small marble bound box, before swiftly turning on his heel and escaping any emotional turmoil to come. Her door closed with a click. She dove under her sheets, the little box clasped firmly to her chest. She knew what it was. Where Han had found it, the Force only knows. Swiped it maybe thinking it might be worth something? Something left over from one of his smuggling sales? A gift?

Recently manicured fingers prised open the lid with loving care, her body shivering in anticipation as the small dancing figure within was revealed and the sound of an Alderaanian lullaby filled the air.

For a moment she could not breathe. Her heart swelled to twice its size and throbbed painfully in her chest, her body suddenly racked with desperate sobs. The figure blurred as her eyes finally filled up with her tears, each a memory of her family and home. She too had one of these boxes when she had been a child in the Palace, dressed and danced like that lonely figure in the music box locked in darkness and brought out to perform for her audience.

Figures danced across her memory, the Alderaanians in the great halls and their visitors, gowns of every colour and shimmer, shoes gracefully skating across marble like ice, their ghosts glittering as thousands of eyes smiled and laughed. Her father's beaming face as he held Leia's hands and guided her across the dance floor, their reflections following their lead and duplicating into the distance. Animal statues populated the walls and ceilings of all buildings, singing and gracefully painting themselves across the rock.

Alderaan had been a crystal of the highest calibre, Leia remembered. During daylight, the grasslands shimmered as the invisible wind played across the long strands, the marble rock faces, sparkling like diamonds. Her father used to tell her that during the day, the stars that shone so faithfully on Alderaan slept upon the rock face, but so beautiful were they that even in their sleep they sparkled.

Alderaan, the birth of life and light. It found every cave and crevice and no one was forgotten.

A candle burns the brightest before it goes out. Just as the laser sprung into life, Alderaan glittered like a precious gem for the last time, the heart of the Rebellion, the splendour and grace of which would never be seen again.

Then it was gone.

The freethinkers, the singers, the artists, the pacifists, each cried out in terror and were cruelly silenced. To Leia's mind, the purpose of any dictatorship was to destroy the most valuable and creative aspects of itself, ingenuity replaced with sullen order, love replaced with cold partnership.

It could not be borne. It should not be allowed! It would not be allowed! For a few moments Leia wanted to be angry but the little dancer in her hand would not let her, the lullaby soothing her tortured spirit. She stared at the little figure dancing gracefully, forever circling for her audience. It did not seem to matter to her that she would be shut up again in the darkness. She took each opening night as it came, delighting in the wide eyes of awe-struck children. She sent them to sleep happily as it was her task, her purpose. She had danced to the tune a thousand times over and she would dance a thousand times again.

She could only stop when the music ran out.

What was Leia's own purpose? Could she ever stop? No, not while dictators and heartless soldiers ruled the galaxy.

The soft tinkling of the lullaby ceased and the girl stopped, looking up at Leia expectantly.

Wiping away her tears and with a new resolve, Leia reached for the key.

She began her dance again.


End file.
